The Handsome Dunce Speaks Explicit Version

An Open Letter To The Easton Author, Bret Easton Ellis, June 13, 2010

2010-06-13T11:24:00.000-07:00

Dear Bret:

You know it's me. I've been around in hiding since 1987 when you published that cameo of my nickname The Handsome Dunce in the sensory deprivation tank, the Camden College Pub. You called me a 'Blond-Tan-Good-Body-Stupid-Goon' (pp234-236) I am not that and never was that. However, I am more than that and wonder why you didn't say so in the sequel, Imperial Bedrooms (June 15 2010).

Are you trying to preserve this ignominious portrait of a Great Intellect, the Moi Guy, me myself and?

Are you afraid to emerge the real and the imagined?

Are you making up rules of attraction for the Imperial Bedroom?

What about my Imperial Bedroom in Booth House in the Fall of 1985?

May your new book Disappear Here. And there and Everywhere. (All Rights Reserved 2010)

Thank you.

The Handsome Dunce of Camden College Fame!
Cameo Star in 'The Rules of Attraction' by Bret Easton Ellis

The Imperial Bedrooms

2010-06-08T00:46:00.000-07:00

The Imperial Bedrooms are the subject of The Easton Author's latest book (June 2010), the sequel to Less Than Zero. However there was an imperial bedroom never mentioned in his chronicle of Camden college, The Rules of Attraction- the one The Handsome Dunce entered in the Fall of 1985.

Read about it soon in The Handsome Dunce's own novel, The Fall of 1985, a misreading of The Easton Author's false chronicle.

Until then try out The Imperial Bedroom Within the Ratio.

http://www.facebook.com/home.php?#!/group.php?gid=122338897807065

The Ratio: 3 to 1 girls to guys at Camden in The Fall of 1985.

Note:
The Easton Author left The Handsome Dunce out of the sequel Imperial Bedrooms as a vendetta to keep the imprint in the mind of his readers and my worldwide fans the 'Blond-tan-good-body-stupid-goon' image that has followed me since the release of The Rules of Attraction in 1987.

The Handsome Dunce Speaks: The Media History

2009-07-13T13:09:00.000-07:00

The History of The Handsome Dunce In Media:

Bret Easton Ellis: Lots and Lots of Noise
Donna Tartt: Lots of Noise.
The Handsome Dunce: Silence.

The Book:
The Fall of 1985: The Handsome Dunce Speaks
Not Yet Released

The Handsome Dunce is featured in The Easton Author's novel The Rules of Attraction on pp-234-236.

The Camden College Stage:Shaved Splits Keith 'Okerman' RichardsCarla The MagnificentThe Mensa Girl & The Cheerleader Violinist

2009-06-23T18:01:00.001-07:00

AUDIO BLOG: Click On The Heading

EXPLICIT

Handsome Dunce's Residence In The Late 1980s

2009-06-21T18:28:00.000-07:00

AUDIO BLOG: Click On The Heading

http://www.luxuryportfolio.com/browse~mc/connecticut/greenwich.cfm

First Page Reports: Bret Easton Ellis Less Than Zero, The Informers The Rules of Attraction

2009-06-11T15:48:00.001-07:00

AUDIO BLOG: Click On the Heading

With his Unique Method The Handsome Dunce judges the books of Bret Easton Ellis based on a close reading of the First Page.

Bret Easton Ellis at Camden College In His Freshman Year

2009-06-09T14:52:00.000-07:00

My Relationship With Bret Easton Ellis

2009-06-09T14:47:00.000-07:00

AUDIO BLOG: Click On The Heading

The Handsome Dunce tells all about his early, rocky relationship with The Easton Author in venues on the Camden campus from The College Pub to The Edge of the World.

Bret Easton Ellis is the Author of Less Than Zero, The Rules of Attraction, Imperial Bedrooms and other novels. The Handsome Dunce is the unauthorized sequel writer for The Rules of Attraction.

The Handsome Dunce of Camden College Fame: The Fall of 1985 First Page

2009-06-02T22:40:00.000-07:00

For Audio Commentary On This Excerpt: Please Click On The Heading

Commons Lawn

"'Such, such were the joys
When we all -- girls and boys --
In our youth-time were seen
On the echoing green.'
Till the little ones, weary,
No more can be merry:
The sun does descend,
And our sports have an end…
On the darkening green."

William Blake
The Echoing Green

On his first day in the fall of 1985 The Hippie Figure drove his purple Bug through the front gate of Camden College and up the winding drive about a mile and then made a left at the looming Visual and Performing Arts building and, after beeping and watching the security gate rise, drove down the first lane among the dorms and onto the commons lawn, that is like an erased football field between clusters of dorms, and made a few markings, that he later said were attempts at communication with students who had passed before their time, and then sped out and turned until he fishtailed and then skidded his vehicle flush against the stone wall at the Edge of the World. At the end of commons lawn this stone wall is the only border before the dropoff that appears to be bottomless, though while staring down some have claimed to see just that, a bottom, the bottom of a mythic freshman girl who jumped in frustration at not finding a man, or who found one who then disappeared for a refill at the keg in Booth House and forgot to return. Only Rodin’s thinker is more intensely focused, albeit in a different pose. Those who have seen it said the bottom is huge and a turn on. "Only its inaccessibility is a turn-off," one drama major said to an atheist Kierkegaardian late one term when a bonfire rose high along its edge.

This Edge of the World is really an illusion that works only if one is standing in the middle or further back on commons lawns. In the green mountains beyond it has been wishfully theorized that there is a Xanadu built by William Blake and Martha Graham, and maybe Kubla Khan, where students who fear graduation end up upon graduation to study world literature, philosophy and to practice the arts forever along with professors who put this clause that they end up there, too, into their contract before the new president arrived; whatever the case that Xanadu is nothing compared to the one that was Camden college in the Fall of 1985, the fall just one year after 1984, the year made famous by George Orwell, but not related. The Fall of 1985 is more like the fall of man, and then the woman, and the rising and falling within that leads to the afterglow and then nothingness, or the afterglow and a short procedure and a blank page according to The Easton Author, and if not the first two choices on this multiple choice sentence, then it leads, what does?, I’ve lost track, who are you?, I’m the Handsome Dunce of Camden College fame, who are you?, I’m you, too, I just got confused by the way this sentence is working out, Get out!, Out?, I can’t get out, I’m you, OK, I’m out, good, my apologies for whoever that was, it’s The Moi Guy I guess, he keeps coming at me; as I was saying, this sentence is about the rising and falling within, that leads to the afterglow and has lead to the next generation: Generation Why?

Background

2009-06-02T21:43:00.000-07:00

In the 1987 novel, The Rules of Attraction, Bret Easton Ellis chronicled the Fall 1985 class at Bennington College with the name changed to Camden College. The Handsome Dunce is mentioned on several pages as 'Steve' who had sex with the main character Lauren and Judy in Williamstown, and is featured on pages 234-236 in a campus pub scene. It is clear The Easton Author intended to derail the freshman year celebrity of The Handsome Dunce.

The Offending Excerpts: "Steve has a BMW. He is from Long Island. Raymond laughs at every lame conversation attempt made by this idiot Steve and asks him constantly if he wants anything and brings him things (cookies, a disgusting/funny salad, garnishes stolen from the salad bar) even if he has said no. It's so nauseating that you are about to get up and leave, sit somewhere else... You stay because Steve is hot. [He's a] blond-tan-good-body-stupid-goon... the Freshmen, represented here by Steve, look so stupid, so desperate to please, trying so hard, nothing on their minds but partying, dressed like ads for Esprit sportswear. Fact remains however: they are better looking than the Seniors.... Steve, whose eyes look permanently half-closed, a dumb grin locked on his face, nodding to no one. [Steve's] not interested in what passes for conversation at the table. "Huh?" Steve asks..."I learned a lot from that class" Steve says... "Like what the alphabet?" Steve just says "Wha?"

Upon reading these excerpts it should be clear The Handsome Dunce is not lying when he says he has suffered humiliation, resentment and a loss of celebrity and a loss of love and affection from freshman girls, as he's dealt with this nickname and fictional identity.

Now, just over twenty years since this Easton novel took him by surprise, the Handsome Dunce awakens from his literary sleep and speaks. Enraged at the characterization, and yet alright with it, too, he is prepared to prove and disprove the impression that he is a dunce in a series of books:

The Handsome Dunce of Camden College Fame: The Fall of 1985
The Handsome Dunce's Book of Wisdom
The Imperial Bedroom Within the Ratio

In the meantime this blog will offer prologues, early drafts, and pics and try to provide the facts in as many ways as is possible about the true nature of Steve who matriculated at Bennington College in the Fall of 1985 and soon found himself to be The Handsome Dunce of Camden College Fame.